Did I tell you about the time I made a 6 foot vagina for Sink the Pink’s 5th birthday?

Brace yourselves…..

….remove any easily startled pets from the room…..

She’s pretty magnificent ….

…and hilarious.

Any resemblance to any vagina you may have encountered is purely coincidental.

I did warn you. I had no idea when I offered to help Sink the Pink out that I end up making this but a few days later, there she was, looming over the kitchen and confusing the cats. Are there instructions for this on the internet? No, there is not, not even a basic guide. Do a google search for 6 foot vagina, (oh, you’ll find plenty of vaginas) but you ain’t gonna find what I was looking for.

So, to be very brief, she’s made of about 18 metres of different fabrics, 52 metres of wadding and a lot of blood sweat and tears of laughter. And a few metres of pubic wool, which I was given by the lovely people at Sew Amazing. It was really liberating not to have to worry about the neatness of seams and hems, as long as she was reinforced and well-hung, she was fine.

Of course, the wadding had to arrive wrapped up like a giant phallus, and then look like an exploded tampon once I opened it. But maybe I was just seeing things through 6-foot-vag spectacles. I’m still in the process of recovering from last night’s early morning dancing so bear with me if this post is a bit shambolic.

I love the people who make up Sink the Pink, they’ve been going for 5 years now and show no sign of slowing down. They’re inclusive, joyful, fun and so colourful it’s like being surrounded by beautiful tropical fish. But you don’t have to take my word for it, here’s last week’s Time Out.


My pics don’t do them justice but here’s some vintage Sink the Pink from Sept 2009. The big-hearted kind soul that is Amy up on stage and a lot of dancing.

And here’s a few from last night at XOYO. Left to right -one of my very oldest friends and beautiful human being, Glyn -legs, plenty of legs – and Samantha Fox, she of “Touch Me, Touch Me”.

Apologies to my poor sister and parents, the time difference between London and Perth meant they were waking up to a lot of emails and pictures of my massive vagina. And thanks Emil for letting me take up pretty much all of the flat with this.

I was very sad to see my 6-foot friend leave but she is with her people now, where she belongs. Thank you Glyn, Amy and Luke for trusting me with your giant vag and for being such great people. But I don’t think I’ll need to look at pictures of vag on the internet for a very, very long time.


You’d imagine I might be over sewing for a while but I’m itching to get back to the neglected vintage Simplicity I started a few weeks ago, something a bit more small scale might be nice for a change!


About Vanessa

Sewing and assorted nonsense. For reasons that escape me, I left the sunshine and beaches of Australia for the crisps and glitter of London in 2001. I now live in the middle of some kind of feline drop-in centre in East London battling for space to make costumes and clothes. Over on twitter and instagram as @smittenness Email over here ------> smittenness@gmail.com
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15 Responses to Did I tell you about the time I made a 6 foot vagina for Sink the Pink’s 5th birthday?

  1. poppykettle says:

    Oh, this is just too hilarious!!!! Amazing effort on your behalf – that’s a lot of fabric and wadding to pull into place there!

  2. black label says:

    hahaha, you rock!
    can you imagine transporting that 6 foot vagina and being stopped by the fuzz (pun intended) for…oh i dont know…indecency. what a laugh that would have been.

  3. Epic, awesome and down-right hilarious! I imagine it might be hard to concentrate on your vintage Simplicity after that…

  4. cjgal says:

    So a awesome!! Did you stuff it with polyfill? It turned out great, no mistaking it for anything else! I love ridiculousness, sink the pink looks pretty wild!

    • smittenness says:

      I used wadding to stuff it, first time I’ve dealt with it. Thanks for your comment, I stared at it for so long, I couldn’t see it any more. On the ground it resembled a huge pink boat! And STP are fantastic, it’s got a whole Taboo-vibe with an emphasis on joy.

  5. ksgentry says:

    I haven’t stopped laughing and don’t think I will any time soon! That is hilarious! There won’t be a trip made to a gynecologist in this household that won’t be filled with giggles! Perhaps I should print him a picture of it, frame it and present him it! Thanks so much for the laughter!

  6. joostdecock says:

    Congratulation, you won at internet today!

  7. Pingback: More vagina. 6-foot of it. | Sew Smitten

  8. This is brilliant, I love seeing the photo’s of Sink the Pink they always look like they’re having the best time and I love what they wear too. I can only imagine how pleased they were with your efforts, best 6ft vag ever, well done I say.

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