A Cat Is Not Just For Christmas. A short history of how my stuff got wrecked.

We inherited Jack and Andrew (but didn’t name them) three years ago from a couple leaving London. They’ve dictated where we live, when we go on holiday and when we get up in the morning but they make the house feel like a proper home. There’s nothing quite like waking up in a panic not being able to feel your legs due to these heavy blighters sleeping on you.

He loves tinsel.

Jack loves tinsel.

Jack is an incredibly cute thug. Loves people, loves rolling round on his back, loves biscuits, loves being alive, sleeping, waking up, purring. But more than anything else, he loves brawling with other cats. It’s mortifying. He even chases the two kittens that belong to the neighbour we call Kitten Geezer. Poor things. Jack chases the tail-less cat from up the street, the old grey cat, squeaky kitten, he even chases foxes. Bloody twit.  Between Jack’s fighting injuries, his undescended testicle (yes, really. Maybe that’s why he’s so angry?) and his knack for pulling out his stitches , he’s cost us more than I care to think about. He’s also responsible for the great pee-festival 2010 and 2012. My books! My patterns! Sigh. He’s also my favourite.

Andrew is almost always stalking me

Andrew is almost always stalking me

Kitten Geezer, our neighbour, thinks Andrew looks “a bit wild”. He’s a grass-is-greener kind of cat. The type that has doorway amnesia, let me in, let me out, let me in, let me stand in the doorway (repeat til fade). He’s very playful, sometimes to the point of going a bit too far and it’s generally my hands that are fair game. This morning I saw him crapping into the ivy on the fence at the back of the garden, just when I thought he’d run out of ways to be disgusting. His creativity astounds me.

RocknRoll. Best blagger in the East End

RocknRoll. Best blagger in the East End

RocknRoll just kind of moved in. He looks quite a lot like Jack and managed to sneak in a few times and get fed. He’s crafty, curious  and built like a tank. We held him at a distance until he camped on our sofa with a huge, infected scratch and refused to move. A trip to the vet ensued, now the selfish sod owes us 80 quid. A year or so after that trip to the vet and he was pretty well-established in our flat and then I discovered the truth. Last summer neighbour on the left asked if I knew “Einstein”. No, I said. He then pointed to Einstein aka RocknRoll. This cat gets fed and housed by pretty much the whole street. If you live in Bow, you probably know him. He’s probably in your kitchen right now, eating your food, growling at you if you dare move him from the sofa, leaping about playing with string like a cat possessed.

Our garden is some kind of cat magnet so it’s quite common to find a neighbour’s cat outside. At last count, there are 6 other cats that hang around. Little wonder Jack is out of his territorial mind.

Kitten Geezer's two kittens harassing Andrew. He can dish it out but ....Kitten Geezer's two kittens harassing Andrew. He can dish it out but ....

Kitten Geezer’s two kittens harassing Andrew. He can dish it out but ….

Squeaky micro fluff. Lives on the right, we think. Popular with snake-hipped,  be-quiffed smokers.

Squeaky micro fluff. Lives on the right, we think. Popular with snake-hipped, be-quiffed smokers.

Lest I misrepresent them, Andrew, Jack and RocknRoll are definitely annoying but they’re a lot of fun and great entertainment. As I write this, Jack’s sleeping on a plastic bag under the Christmas tree, Andrew’s curled up in a perfect circle near the radiator and RocknRoll has just gone out to growl at the rain (he takes rain very personally).

They’re lovely, I just wish they’d get jobs.

Three cat pile up. No room for humans.

Three cat pile up in “difficult second album pose”.

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About Vanessa

Sewing and assorted nonsense. For reasons that escape me, I left the sunshine and beaches of Australia for the crisps and glitter of London in 2001. I now live in the middle of some kind of feline drop-in centre in East London battling for space to make costumes and clothes. Over on twitter and instagram as @smittenness Email over here ------> smittenness@gmail.com
This entry was posted in A bit of chat., cats and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A Cat Is Not Just For Christmas. A short history of how my stuff got wrecked.

  1. sewexhausted says:

    What pretty kitty’s!

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